Fear or regret

There have been so many things in life that I fear. I fear not being the best mom I can be, the best wife to my husband, the best employee at work, the best friend, the best sister, and the best daughter. I live my life trying to be the best at everything I do. Unfortunately this leads to a lot of heart ache and disappointment as I am usually comparing what I think is being the best to unrealistic expectations of perfectionism. So what does this have to do with fitness and health???? Fear of perfection is literally making me sick and it's time to let go of the fear of not being perfect. This week, I realized that the sprint triathlon is 8 days away here in Gillette. I wanted to compete in it again, and this week was trying to decide if I should do it or not. Here are the thoughts that were going through my head of why not to do it..."you haven't trained enough" "you haven't even been swimming" "what if you don't beat your time from 3 years ago" "none of your friends are doing it with you" "what if it is too hard and you have to give up" I am that girl that plays out fake scenarios of what could possibly happen in my head, so you can probably imagine what those looked like...me gasping for air out of the pool, not being able to get out of the pool, walking on the running portion, and giving up( in dramatic fashion of course). Luckily for me a little piece of reality stepped into these thoughts and told myself to shut up. I have two options..fear it or regret it. I have pondered over what I would think about myself if I didn't do it, regret! Regret is what I would feel if I didn't compete, if I didn't push.

I would never have imagined that in my 30's that I would  be in the best shape of my life. I have biked 150 miles in 2 days, I have been running just slightly under 5 miles under a 10 min mile pace. I have gone to hot yoga twice! I want to feel what I can push my body to do while I am in the best shape I have ever been in. I want to cross the finish line weighing over 75 pounds less than I did 3 years ago when I first finished the triathlon. I will not let fear win, I will not regret this. I have to remember that I am only in competition with  myself. I am the one that I have to compete against. I have to compete against the fear of imperfection and accept my imperfect self. So here it goes...I am going to do the triathlon. I started swimming today and I didn't die gasping for air. I feel that I can bike and run confidently. I am excited to try out my new bike! I have dreamed of the day racing on a road bike. I know it is going to be hard. I know that I will not have the support of my friends who will not be doing it with me, I know that my family won't be able to be there cheering me on, but this is my race. This is me and this is me relinquishing my fear and living life without regret and without fear.
  

Inspirational clothing success

So I have some pieces of clothing that has either been given to me or I have purchased that are my "I am going to rock this when I lose 10 more pounds" I have a couple dresses in my closet that I can't wait to rock, just working on my mommy pooch before I do. So I was given some jeans from my sister in law about 2 months ago, she gave me all size 30 in waist and one 29 in waist. The 30's fit perfect and I was sure that on the first time trying on the 29's it was going to be a while before I fit into those. I put them on my shelf  and forgot about them. I remember thinking this waist is tiny and I might never be this tiny!  This weekend I was cleaning out my closet and found them. I thought, what the hell. Go for it, try them on. THEY FIT! And not like I look like a sausage stuffed into meat casing, but fit nicely! Yeah! The waist is tiny and I guess mine is getting tiny as well.  I love buying a couple things that don't quite fit because it truly is one of the best feelings to try it in a month and see the progress. Then you have a new outfit to flaunt your hard work around in!!

Here is the inspiration....

Vacation

Surviving vacation while being aware of healthy eating habits is difficult! My family and I recently went to Arizona and San Diego. I love eating new foods and trying local favorite places to eat. So of course eating becomes a big make up of vacation. I wasn't perfect on vacation and I definitely endulged in things I normally stay away from. Here are some tips I tried while on vacation...

1. Breakfast-we had a continental breakfast at the hotel where we stayed. This breakfast was typical waffles, pastries, carbs carbs carbs carbs. How I tried to make my breakfasts healthier was eating oatmeal with fresh apple slices and a hard boiled egg. I got fiber and protein and stayed away from sugar loaded muffins and Danishes. 

2. Share- my husband is so good because he often shares with me. I love this because then you can't over eat. If we didn't share I immediately asked for a box and boxed up half. I loved not feeling full and overly stuffed! 

3. Walk- we planned lots of active things to do and we walked a lot. We walked up and down the beach, we played volleyball on the beach. We walked at the zoo. 

4. Water- stay hydrated!! Drink drink drink drink. Keep the water going! 

5. Have fun and allow yourself to endulge- We had a meal where we ate what we wanted and one night I have Ben and Jerry's ice cream! It was glorious and I don't feel guilty. 

I came home and I did weigh 5 pounds heavier then when I left but I got right back on track.  

Here are some pictures of our trip...

In the airport ready to go!

Grandmas backyard in Arizona

Driving to San Diego

Down on the pier

Me and my honey near the USS Midway

She loves ice cream as much as mom does

At the zoo

Poolside 

Mission beach

Joy

Nothing brings me more joy than someone seeing me for the first time in a while and telling me I look amazing. It brings me joy when colleagues, friends, family who see me daily tell me how healthy and fit I look. I love that someone recently called me skinny. These are all things I feel, but it is nice to hear others say what you are feeling on the inside. Warm and fuzzies

Run Kendra, Run!

I

I can't even believe that I did this! It was a gorgeous day and I wanted to workout outside! I have never run outdoors for longer than 3.2 miles but I have been working all winter on a treadmill doing interval training to try to become a better runner. I don't love running. But I love the workout that running gives me! I love watching my core and legs transform. I have always thought that I was a slow runner, but my run the other night proved me wrong. I ran under a 10 minute mile! WHAT!!!! That isn't slow! I can't wait for the snow to melt to see how far my next run will be. But this girl isn't giving up on biking! That's still my go to all time love! The best part of this run was the sun shining and my dog Leah and I sharing some exercise together. 

Dinner Difference

Here is a picture of dinner the other night...Hello veggies! Yes this was a bit extreme, but we had produce that had to be used up. We grilled deer burgers and instead of fries, we roasted green chilies, cauliflower, and broccoli. We steamed up some carrots, snow peas and asparagus. Instead of putting mayo or ketchup on the burger, I opted for some avocado. Simple changes lead to feeling full and feeling guiltless. I love looking at the color on my plate and how it is proportioned. Over half full of things that are good for me! That's a win! 

Yummy dinner!

I love to eat spicy foods! Seriously Mexican food is my all time favorite! We eat lots and lots of spicy foods. Tonight I made yummy and super nutrious chicken tacos. I used 100 calorie black bean and whole wheat tortillas. They are pretty small in diameter making them great for portion control. They are 100 calories and have 3g of fiber and 3g of protein. I used the chicken breast from a whole chicken I cooked on Sunday for soup. I flavored the chicken with fresh cilantro, lime and chili powder. I made a black bean and quinoa mixture to immulate Spanish rice and beans. In my quinoa and beans I used fresh cilantro, lime and a tablespoon if salsa while it cooked. More awesome foods full of protein and fiber! I garnished my yummy tacos with a bit of cheddar cheese, a little salsa, and avacados! This dinner was so yummy and full of great yummy foods!